Kurt swallowed and took what Blaine gave him. It was delicious, he couldn’t deny, but his taste buds just… didn’t care. He swallowed bite after bite because it seemed to calm Blaine down a little bit with each spoonful Kurt would swallow. After about half of the bowl, he shook his head, not wanting any more. He looked up at Blaine and reached out for his hand, just resting his on top of Blaine’s. “I love you, too.” He whispered. He didn’t care if his body didn’t want him to move or his brain didn’t want him to remember how to talk, but he would never let Blaine tell him he loved him without saying it back.
Blaine smiled softly, more tears coming to his eyes. He moved his hand to intertwine their fingers. “I’ll never stop loving you, Kurt… I promise. You’re my fiance… We’re going to get married and start a family and I’m going to become a professor and you’re going to become a famous fashion designer and we’re going to be so happy. I promise you, Kurt. I intend to keep it… I know you need time, but I also want you to not be afraid to ask me for help, okay?” Blaine cupped Kurt’s cheek with his free hand and stared into his eyes.
Kurt sighed and closed his eyes for a second, not wanting so see Blaine like this. He nodded softly, frowning, but he tried to get himself up into a sitting position, but his arms were to shaky and he failed, falling back down. Blaine helped him up, and he rested his head back on the headboard, and he reached over and tried to get the spoon, and when he did, he picked up a spoonful of soup, but his shaky grip made the soup fall onto the bedspread over his legs. He frowned and just stopped trying, because he couldn’t do it.
Blaine took the spoon, putting it back in the bowl. He got up and grabbed a towel, wiping off the bedspread, before throwing it aside and sitting back down. Blaine took the bowl and got a spoonful of broth, blowing on it until it was cool and holding it out to Kurt’s mouth. “I’m here to help you… You’re not alone, Kurt,” Blaine whispered. “Now open.” Blaine dipped the spoon into Kurt’s mouth carefully, allowing the broth to slide down his throat. “I love you and I’m going to help you as much as I can, Kurt. You’re my everything and I’m always going to be here for you.”
Kurt looked up at Blaine and frowned, because he could see the heartbreak in Blaine’s eyes. He reached out and ran his thumb over Blaine’s cheek, wiping a tear away before his hand fell back down onto the bed, life gone from it. He shook his head, looking at the soup with disdain. He didn’t want to eat. He never wanted to eat again. Eating meant swallowing, which meant he had to put energy into chewing and cooling the soup down and Kurt could barely breathe without wanting to pass out.
Blaine hugged Kurt tighter to his chest. “Please… Just have some broth at least… Kurt… I don’t want to lose you… Please do this for me…” he whispered desperately, caressing Kurt’s face gently. Blaine was so scared that Kurt was simply going to give up and let himself die. He couldn’t let Kurt do that. Kurt was his purpose in life. Without Kurt, Blaine was nothing. He couldn’t let Kurt do this to himself.
Kurt jumped up, screaming for a second and pushing away from Blaine so fast as he scurried back on the bed, he fell off the other side, earning an oomf and groan from himself. He stayed there, panting and trying to keep his heart at a safer beat, and he knew it was Blaine the second before he fell, but now he was even more tired than before, he just expelled so much energy to get away that he was just done. He let his head thump onto the hardwood floor and let out a pained sigh, his eyes closed and his heart hurting.
Blaine teared up and ran around to the other side of the bed, picking Kurt up gently and laying him back in the bed. “I’m so sorry… I’m so so sorry…” he whispered, pulling the blankets back over him and pushing his bangs back carefully, his eyes filled with so much sorrow. “I won’t wake you up again like that, I promise… Please, let me get some food into you before you go back to sleep though. You have to eat, I’m not going to let you waste away.”
Santana sighed. Blaine just didn’t get what she was saying. This wasn’t going to happen to anyone else because no one else was Kurt. But Blaine wouldn’t see that until Kurt told him who she knew it was. Blaine needed to hear it from Kurt. “Harry is very attuned to Kurt at this point. As you are to Kurt. Just like you know that Kurt’s upset and you feel it and you want to be there for him, so does Harry. Except a cat didn’t hurt Kurt. A man did. Its easier to have a cat near him and cuddling with him than it is for a man to be near him. But youre different. He knows that, you just have to constantly remind him of it now.” She said, grabbing the salt and handing it to Blaine.
Blaine took it and sprinkled some into the broth. “I know, I know…” he said. “I may be his fiance, but I’m still a man and a man hurt him. I get it, okay. I just…” Blaine sighed and looked at her apologetically. “I’m sorry I’m so snappy, I just don’t know how to handle any of this either. I wasn’t the one hurt, but the love of my life was and when Kurt hurts, I hurt. Simple as that. That’s what happens to soulmates.” Blaine stirred the soup absentmindedly. When it started to boil, he turned off the stove and got a ladle, putting some into a bowl. “I’m going to try to get him to eat.” Blaine grabbed a spoon and went into the bedroom quietly, setting the bowl on the bedside table and sitting down on the bed. He stared at Kurt’s tear-stained face and bit his lip, fighting back tears. Blaine cleared his throat and stroked Kurt’s hand gently. “Kurt…” he whispered. “Kurt, I brought you something to eat…”
Santana flinched when Blaine yelled at her, but forgave it the second it happened. Blaine was more tense than he’d ever been, and the one person who could fix it was Kurt, who couldn’t move let alone take care of Blaine. “Blaine, knowing who did it won’t help anything. Kurt’s not going to say anything. It’s like he’s scared for his own life… Like he’s scared for your life.” She said, her brows knitting together. She looked at Blaine as her mouth fell open. “That sounds like the past being rewritten, except alot worse this time. Kurt never doesn’t tell you things, Blaine.”
Blaine groaned. “Well, he needs to tell me. He needs to, because we have to press charges. There is a… a monster out there who hurt the man I plan on marrying and I don’t want this to happen to anyone else! Kurt wouldn’t either. But I know I’m not going to get anything out of him right now. I just have to be patient and be what he needs me to be…” Blaine stirred some spices into the soup, sighing softly. He felt something rubbing against his leg and looked down to see Draco rubbing up against him. Blaine kneeled down and pet him. “Harry hasn’t left Kurt since last night. At least I don’t think he has. He knows something’s wrong.”
Santana watched Blaine worked after she finished putting things away, sitting on the counter next to him and eating some chips out of a bag. “I know you wont allow him to give up on himself. But you have to understand what’s going on inside of his head. This… horrible thing… it happened to him. And he can’t handle it. And he hates that. He’s blaming himself completely. Because he’s always the strong one, and he doesn’t know what it’s like to have something so bad happen that he can’t just move on and forget about it. That’s what he’s always done. Pretending like the bad didn’t happen once it was over. He literally doesn’t have a way of handling this.” She said, before stuffing a couple chips in her mouth.
"You think I don’t know that?!" Blaine suddenly snapped, before his eyes widened and he stared at her apologetically. "I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to…" he sighed and looked back down to what he was doing. He got a think of chicken broth and poured it into a pot on top of the stove, turning it onto high and adding the other ingredients. Blaine placed his hands on the counter and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "I just want to hear from his mouth who did this to him, so I can go kill them for doing this. He is the love of my life and I have to watch him suffer, with little to no idea of how to help him! He’s so amazing and wonderful and he didn’t deserve this! What the fuck more can the world do before it’s finally done trying to ruin our lives?"
Kurt let himself start crying again when Blaine left. He hated that he was doing this to Blaine. He should be suffering alone, and he knew that everything he felt, Blaine felt, and that hurt him even more. But he drifted back to a nightmare filled sleep, knowing what was coming, but starting to not care anymore. Santana was already on her way to the apartment, planning on staying there for a little while, at least until Kurt started getting on a better track. She knew Blaine couldn’t do it alone, so she picked up some groceries and cat food and texted Blaine and told him she was on her way. When she walked into the apartment, she saw Blaine petting Draco, a smile on his face, but just barely. She sighed. “Hey, kid. I got some things at the groceries. Milk, juice, eggs and essential things. How is he today?”
Blaine looked over at the bedroom and got up to help Santana put stuff away. He won’t talk… I don’t think he’s even gotten out of bed. Like, at all. Not to eat, not to go to the bathroom. I’m so worried about him… It’s like he’s given up completely.” Blaine put some things away, then got things out to make chicken noodle soup. “I’m going to make him some of my mom’s world famous soup. She always made it for me when I was upset and didn’t have the energy to eat anything. He needs to get something in him, or he’ll wither away, and I’m not allowing that to happen.” Blaine got out the cutting board and started cutting up celery, carrots, and some left over chicken from the night before. He was going to get Kurt to eat, even if he had to force-feed him, which seemed like the most likely possibility. “Why did this have to happen? Why him?” Blaine whispered brokenly.
Kurt opened his eyes which had closed to try and sleep again, but then there was Blaine… so nevermind on sleeping. He just shook his head, then turned over onto his side facing away from Blaine wordlessly, staring at the wall. He knew that in anyone elses eyes, he was being difficult, but he had no energy. It took enough energy to breathe, movement just took too much. He never wanted to move again. He knew if he took a shower, he’d have to get up, and he’d be naked. Toilet, get up, halfnaked. Eating, get up. Change his clothes, get up, naked. He knew he couldn’t hold himself up, not without help, and he didn’t want to be naked, especially if someone was helping him.
Blaine sighed. He honestly didn’t expect any less out of Kurt. He understood that what Kurt was going through was not just something he was going to get over. Blaine had to give him space, but also be there for him. “Alright, well, I’m going to go into the other room and study. If you need anything, just call for me.” Blaine stood and walked back into the living room, leaving the bedroom door open. He pulled out his phone and texted Santana, telling her that he really needed someone to just, distract him for a while, without taking him away from Kurt. Santana always fit that bill. He sent the text and sat down on the couch, a small smile forming on his lips when Draco jumped up onto his lap and started purring.
Kurt wouldn’t get out of bed the next day. He wouldn’t change, he wouldn’t eat, and he didn’t say a word. When he wasn’t sleeping, he was staring at the ceiling of the bedroom, a complete zombie. He didn’t know how to be alive anymore. Simple daily routines required a little energy, energy he didn’t have. He just laid there as Blaine and Santana went to school, Harry and Draco on the bed at his feet, but he didn’t pay them any attention, which confused them. He barely moved all day, he didn’t even remember how to get up to go to the bathroom when he felt like he had to go. He was lost in a fog of depression, something he’d never experienced… not like this. He just laid there, sleeping when his body couldn’t stare at white anymore, laying awake when his subconscious was too lazy to torment him with nightmares.
Blaine hadn’t wanted to go to school. It seemed cruel to do so, when Kurt was laying at home, lost and not knowing what to do. Blaine couldn’t concentrate. He was quiet, which never happened, and he didn’t pay attention at all, which also never happened. Everyone around him noticed as well. When asked questions, Blaine would brush them off. He just wanted to get home. Finally, he got out of his last class and got straight into a cab. Blaine was vaguely aware of the fact that he took the cab from someone else, but he was beyond caring about that at this point. The drive was short, Blaine paid, and then he ran into the building, taking the elevator up to the apartment. He went straight to the bedroom, putting his bag on the floor and sitting down on the bed carefully. “Kurt…” Blaine whispered, looking down at him. “I’m home… Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Have you eaten?”