Kurt opened his eyes and looked at Blaine, how tired he was, how defeated he looked. He just nodded, patting the bed softly beside him. He didn’t want to change, he didn’t want to show skin right now. He just wanted Blaine next to him to make sure nothing bad ever happened to him ever again. When Blaine was next to him, they stayed like that for a bit, just laying next to eachother, their arms barely touching. Finally, Kurt rolled onto his side and rested his head on Blaine’s chest, closing his eyes and letting an arm fall lazily over Blaine’s torso. His heart beat soon lulled Kurt to sleep, a nightmare filled sleep that he woke up from every night.
Blaine didn’t move much when Kurt rolled over onto him. He wanted Kurt to be comfortable and he was afraid any sudden movement would scare him. After a moment, he placed his arm gently around Kurt and stroked his hair gently, trying to soothe away the nightmares he was positive would be plaguing his fiance. Blaine stared down at the love of his life, broken into a million pieces, but Blaine was determined to put him back together. He took a shaky breath and leaned his head back, sighing and closing his eyes, letting exhaustion take over.
Kurt sighed and shook his head, looking down at the cats and frowning. He didn’t want to play. He didn’t want to eat. He just wanted to go sleep forever. He walked away from Blaine and headed to the bedroom, crawling on the bed and staring at the ceiling. He put his hands over his face and rubbed his eyes, sobbing softly for a second before closing his eyes and trying and failing to fall asleep. Santana sighed and watched Kurt disappear. “Go after him. Ask him if he wants you in there with him. Not to touch him or expect anything, just to lay there together, to protect him while he sleeps. He’ll sleep better with you there with him. I’ll take care of the cats, you take care of him. And I’ll make sure you take care of yourself.” She said, caressing his cheek, pushing his hair out of his face.
Blaine smiled and hugged Santana tightly. “I don’t know what I would do without you. I love you,” he said, before kissing her cheek and going into the bedroom. He looked at Kurt in the bed and sighed, toeing off his shoes. “Hey… You want pajamas or something, honey? And I thought you wanted to shower… I mean, if you don’t that’s fine, but…” Blaine sat down on the bed and sighed softly. “Kurt, do you want me to stay in here with you? I won’t touch you or anything, I just… I’ll sleep on the couch or the floor or anywhere if you prefer…” He bit his lip, feeling like his fumbling with words wasn’t going to help Kurt any. He just didn’t know what to do.
Kurt nodded slowly, his eyes sad. He reached down and grabbed Blaine’s hand, intertwining their fingers and looking at his feet. He let Blaine lead him to the door, where they ran into the original doctor that he refused to let touch him. “Hey, Kurt. Here’s the cream I told Blaine about to apply to your backside for it to heal. Two times a day everyday until it’s gone. You or Blaine can do that, depending on what you’re comfortable with. Here are some papers for you to sign and the prescription for another bottle of the cream if you need it and then you’re out of here. Go home, sleep, shower, and just… rest for a couple of days. Take it easy. Call your family, have them come down and help out if you want. Just… If you ever need a little bit of extra help, we have support groups and people to talk to that can help you. We want to get you through this, okay?” Kurt nodded solemnly and took the papers, signing what he needed to before walking out of the ER, knowing he could never be the same person that he was before. He only hoped Blaine could still love the person he’d become… because right now, he had no idea who this ghost was that was next to Blaine right now, sad and alone, when he had more support than other people dream of. When they got in the taxi, Santana saying her goodbyes to Britt, who was heading home alone so Santana could be there for the boys, Kurt sat on the end, looking out the window, not listening to anything but Blaine’s heart beat that he could feel in his hand. Santana rubbed Blaine’s thigh soothingly. “He’s gonna be fine. I’ve never known someone stronger. He’ll get through this, honey. I know he will. He will because he has you.”
Blaine stared at Kurt during the whole ride in the cab. One hand was in Kurt’s and the other was on top of Santana’s hand. He heard his best friend, but his brain wasn’t really registering anything but Kurt and Kurt’s needs. When they got to the apartment, Blaine paid the cab driver and they all got out of the car. Blaine tightened his grip on Kurt’s hand as they walked into the building and went up to their apartment. Blaine unlocked the door and let Santana and Kurt in before following and locking the door behind them. Harry and Draco ran into the room mewing and stopping in front of Kurt. Harry pressed a paw to Kurt’s leg and looked up at him with hopeful eyes. Blaine walked over to Kurt. “You want me to get a bath ready for you? Or would you rather just shower?” he asked.
Kurt shook his head and made his way to the bathroom slowly, limping a little bit because the doctor had made the pain that much worse. He avoided the mirror completely this time, looking away and getting his clothes back on. He walked back into the room and held his shirt closed since it was broken, and looked at Blaine from under his eyelashes, biting his lip. His face was red and still a little swollen, and he was sure his face would have bruises tomorrow. And probably the rest of him. But he was so ashamed. Ashamed of what he let happen to him. And now Blaine had to forever love someone who’d been used. Kurt was forever tarnished of something special. Only ever being Blaine’s. He made his way over to Blaine and stood in front of him, inches apart for a second, before taking one step and folding himself into Blaine, his fingers gripping for Blaine’s shirt as his head fell into Blaines neck, not crying anymore, just realizing how much he need to be held by the one person he trusted enough to touch him.
Blaine held Kurt tightly, running one hand into his hair and wrapping the other around his waist. He pressed his lips to Kurt’s head, trying to keep it together so he could give his fiance the comfort he needed. Blaine knew what Kurt was feeling… he knew that Kurt felt like he was no longer special to Blaine. But Blaine planned on proving him wrong. Yes, someone had taken that special bond between them away, but Blaine would make sure that Kurt knew how much he loved him, no matter what. Blaine leaned back slightly and looked into Kurt’s eyes, caressing his cheek with his hand. “I love you, Kurt. I will always love you. I promise,” he whispered. “C’mon, let’s get you home.”
A silent tear fell down Kurts cheek along with more that followed, and he nodded, not wanting to see Blaine look like that. The doctor came back in with a sweet woman, another doctor, who was small and petite with a kind voice and face. He left them to talk… Well, to listen to her, and when she told Blaine to leave, Kurt really didn’t want him to go this time, but he let it happen, because Blaine didn’t deserve to watch it. But he couldn’t save Blaine from the sobs that could be heard from outside the room as he let her take the samples, it just hurt so much and it felt so bad and he was shaking so hard because he was so afraid of hands on him. Santanas arms were waiting for him to hold him again still in the same spot as before, just waiting and ready to comfort him.
Blaine held onto Santana tightly, his eyes shut so hard that he was tearing up even more. He couldn’t stand listening to Kurt’s sobs, it hurt so much. It was the most awful thing Blaine had ever heard. The moment the tests were done, Blaine was back in the room, by Kurt’s side, gently wiping his tears away. “It’s okay, honey, it’s over. It’s over and we can get your medicine and go home,” he whispered soothingly, caressing Kurt’s cheek gently. The doctors and the nurses left and Blaine got Kurt’s clothes and helped Kurt out of the bed. “Do you want me to help you change?” he asked, feeling like they’d already had this conversation.
Kurt looked at Blaine and shook his head softly. He swallowed the lump in his throat and fiddled with the gown for a second. “I-I want to go home. Shower. Sleep. Please, Blaine… Home.” He said, his voice barely a whisper, and you could tell the energy it took him to speak was a temendous amount. He was shaking like a leaf and he just wanted to go home where he wouldn’t be touched by doctors and nurses and he could wash the horrible feeling all over him off of him and he could feel it all coming out of him and he wanted to not have to have everyone see him like this anymore. He just wanted to go home. He looked at Blaine and squeezed his hand, still shaking, his grip not much. “Home.”
Blaine sighed and kissed Kurt’s hand softly. “How about this… Just let them test to make sure you don’t have any STDs? We’ll get the medicine you need to help you heal and then we’ll go home, okay? And I’ll get a nice warm bath for you and you can just soak and I’ll make your favorite dinner or anything you want to make you feel comfortable…” he suggested, trying to bargain with Kurt. “Please, just let them test you. I want to make sure you’re not going to get sick from something… Or possibly…” Blaine sighed again and looked into Kurt’s eyes with his own, pleading.
Santana frowned and held Blaine tighter, sighing and trying to think of what to say. “It’s not either I’d your faults, Blaine. You didn’t ask for this. He sure didn’t ask for it. The only person he’s ever wanted was you. It is you. And you two will move on from this. You just have to give it time, okay? Give him time to breathe and cope and learn to be loved and touched again. Just… God this is bad… Jesus.” She said, just as the doctor came out, looking exasperated. “He won’t let me touch him. Since he’s here on his own accord, I can’t force him. I’m not traumatizing him anymore than he is. Blaine, can you try to convince him? I can’t ask you to do it. Ask if one of the women can do it for him and if that would be better… If not, I’ll prescribe him a topical cream for the lacerations on his anus, because that can’t heal on it’s own. Him or you will have to apply it twice a day. That is assuming you live together, assumed by the ring on his finger.” The doctor said, smiling softly. He bent down to get to their level and put a hand on Blaines knee. “Its gonna be alright. It’s all about the coping and the healing now. He’ll slowly let you past his guards, and then it’ll just be about time.”
Blaine sighed and nodded. “Thank you. I’ll… I’ll talk to him…” he said, before getting up. He looked at Santana for a moment, squeezing her hand, before walking back into the room. Blaine walked cautiously over to Kurt. He pulled up a chair beside the bed and sat down, looking over Kurt with sad eyes. “Kurt, they really need to let someone do the tests… If not a male doctor, then how about a woman doctor? We need to make sure you didn’t get any diseases or anything…” he whispered, placing his hand tenatively over Kurt’s. “I promise, no one here wants to hurt you, baby. We just want to help… I want to get you home as soon as possible. It’s all gonna be okay…”
Kurt didn’t say anything when Blaine left, even though he did really want to have Blaine with him. He never wanted to be left alone again. Santana followed Blaine out and sat next to him, wrapping her arms around him. “I dont know why either… Did be say who did it? What happened? I mean… What has he said at all?” She asked softly, pulling his head to her chest and playing with his hair. Kurt was putting up a fight with the doctor, but nothing the two of them knew outside of the room.
“When they asked him to what extent he was assaulted, he just said everything. The rest of the questions, he shook his head at, or nodded. Whoever it was, they didn’t wear a condom. He wouldn’t say who did it, but… I think I know, Santana. He just… the way he looked at me… but I really gon’t want to be right if it’s true. I really just… I wish we had stayed in like I wanted. I wanted to just cuddle with him on the couch and watch movies and he did too, but he said we needed to be social and now look what’s happened!”
Kurt barely heard Blaine. He was sitar out of it, he didn’t care what happened to him. He nodded absentmindedly, letting Blaine pick him up and carry him to the bed. He just cried and cried, lost in the abuse that seemed to be suffocating him. Santana ran into the room, Britt staying back still, but the nurse was behind her and apologizing, trying to get her out. Santana growled. “He is my best friend and I will be here for hi-” She stopped when she saw an almost RENT scene before her, Kurt broken and Blaine trying to keep it together while he held the love of his life. “Go. Seriously. I know them and they need me. Okay?” She said, trying to get to Blaine now.
Blaine cradled Kurt to his chest, not willing to let him go anytime soon. He stroked his hair and whispered soothing words to him, trying to get him to calm down. When Santana burst in, arguing with a nurse, Blaine looked up. “Let her stay,” he said, before looking back down at Kurt. “It’s okay, baby… Everything is going to be alright…” Blaine whispered into Kurt’s hair. “I love you so much… You don’t deserve this…” Blaine looked up at Santana with desperate eyes, feeling completely and utterly lost. The doctor came in a few minutes later and asked Blaine and Santana to leave so he could do the examination. Blaine had argued with him to stay, but in the end, hospital procedure won over. Blaine got off the bed and kissed Kurt’s forehead softly, squeezing his hands. “I’ll be right outside. The minute the examination is done, I’ll be back, okay? I promise. I love you,” he whispered to Kurt, before reluctantly walking out with Santana. He leaned against the wall and slid to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest and looking down, his body shaking. “I just… I don’t understand why this happened…”
Kurt watched the doctor leave and didn’t want to change, but he knew Blaine wanted him to and he really wanted to go home so he just sighed and folded into himself again, standing up and taking the gown from Blaine and walking into the bathroom and closing the door, getting the gown on and folding his clothes slowly before he looked in the mirror and saw his reflection. He fell away and fell back against the door, his legs caving in under him, and he fell with a cry, curling into the fetal position and sobbing softly, he lost himself and couldn’t hold it together anymore. That person in the mirror wasn’t him, and as he reached behind him and felt his ass, feeling dried blood there, he choked on another sob and cried on the bathroom floor, not caring about the germs on the floor, not caring about anything but the emptiness in his heart and the lump in his throat.
Blaine watched Kurt walk into the bathroom, before basically collapsing, holding onto the bed for support. How could something like this happen to his Kurt? His beautiful, talented, wonderful Kurt? It just didn’t make any sense. Kurt didn’t deserve this. Blaine wiped his eyes furiously and put his face in his hands. How was Kurt going to come back from this? Blaine jumped when he heard a thump in the bathroom and ran over to the door opening it. He dropped to his knees and reached out to Kurt without actually touching him. “Kurt… Baby, c’mon, we need to get you off the floor…” he whispered, his eyes glancing to Kurt’s ass, regret instantly filling him. Blaine bit his lip and looked back at Kurt’s head. “Let me help you, okay? I won’t hurt you, I promise… I know you don’t want to be touched, but please let me help you…”